Judged for our parental decisions

Friday, November 09, 2018

Becoming a parent is a hard work at the best of times, there are so many decisions which fall on our shoulders, so many choices, so many myths, so many negative views, current trends etc all to take into consideration when making daily decisions and as a parent, these influence us massively. In the end, all we want as parents is for our children to be happy. Happy kids, happy parents!

There were several things I have been judged on as a parent. The main one being how early Rhun goes to bed. Since 3 months old Rhun was going to bed at 6pm, we timed feeds perfectly and he was sleeping through the night from 3 months old waking at 7am. I adjusted his bedtime to 4pm when he turned 6 months old and noticed he would only stir around 7pm and sleep through. His bedtime was 4pm until he turned 2 years old and I adjusted it again to 5pm as he was a little older and was then in pre-school. He will turn 4 in March and still goes to bed at 5pm every night and wakes 6:30/7am.

 It is something I've always been very strict on as I noticed a huge difference in his behaviour when he wasn't getting enough sleep. He would be defiant, cheeky, rude, would have an attitude I only dread to deal with, would go off his food and spent a lot of time in time out. Changing his bedtime allowed him to get a sufficient amount of sleep and I noticed a huge difference in him as a person. He was more alert, would eat better, listen better and concentrate for longer periods of time. I will firmly stand by what I've said to myself all along and that is a growing child needs a good routine (plenty of sleep) and consistency. I get frowned upon for sending him to bed so early, some people must think it's because I don't want to spend time with him. This is not the case at all. Giving him the best start in life and teaching him what routine is from an early age has allowed me the freedom to become a better person myself. It's allowed me time to reflect on how I want him to grow up, teach him certain things in life, it's allowed me time for myself so I don't burn out too. Bedtime has never been an issue for us because I stuck at it, from day one. I believed it could work and proved it could work. I'm not saying it's an easy ride, adjusting his bedtime each time was chaotic, to say the least, it unsettled him massively and stressed us both out but because I stuck at it, passed those hurdles, we now reap the benefits.

When people question HOW I did it and question WHY I did it, I simply tell them that children need a good nights sleep, children need structure and need to respect simple things like bedtime and parents orders. I don't allow my son to make the rules up, I know best for him and this has allowed him to trust me. If he goes to bed late for whatever reason (could be something like a late doctors appointment etc) then he feels naggy for days afterwards, doesn't want to eat, develops an attitude through tiredness and doesn't want to do anything but sit and watch tv. This is the effects of a late night, he knows now why bedtime is so important. I will allow anyone to judge me in this department because at least I know I am not wrestling trying to put my child to bed at 10pm when I could be writing blogs, watching a film or even prepping school stuff for the morning. My evening is mine and it would have a huge roll on effect should he go to bed at 10pm. It would mean I wouldn't get a chance to do the washing, clean the house, prep school things, write product reviews or even catch up on the phone for hours with friends and family. People will judge, no matter where you have come from and what you decide. I've realised that.

I asked our Parent Bloggers what they felt they were going to/or had been judged on as a parent, the responses were fantastic and a real eye opener to say the least.

What did you feel you were going to get judged for being a parent?

Was it fear of getting judged for not breastfeeding? 
Criticism for not going to toddler stay and play sessions?
Worried you’d get judged for not wanting hand me downs?

A Huge thank you to each and every single parent who helped contribute to this post, it is a real 
eye opener and I thank you for your contributions. Stay strong parents, you got this! X





























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